None of the revelations that I am writing right now are shocking or rather profound. But then again, I don't really think any of the observations I make are.

I had an engaging conversation with an acquaintance riding in the car the yesterday. The candor of a conversation with someone that you hardly know anything about sometimes still surprises me. I'm not saying that I spilled my life story in the hour or so car ride we shared, yet still, I talked in depth about things that don't come up typically in daily conversations with people that are my friends.

And then it hit me. A challenge. A question that made me think. Something that I didn't have a canned response to. Something that made me look around and see the walls that I had surrounded myself with. Complacency is a sneaky thing. It wraps you up and a cocoon of good enough's and alright's and half hearted efforts with no risk of failure. (If you don't succeed, redefine success. That way you never fail)

I'm reminded of myself as a child. Children are fearless. I don't think I knew the meaning of failure because I never gave up. I never saw falling short as a setback, just as a stopping point to check from where I came and focus in on how much I had to go. Life was about measuring growth- how much taller I was, how much faster I could run, how many words I could read. I learned to ride my bike, not being discouraged by my failures, but focusing on the task ahead and my desire to join the kids that rode of the cooler big boy bikes without the training wheels (aka my brother).

And now I am fearful of failure. Strange because I've failed so entirely in the past. But then, it was in my control. I chose to fail because I didn't participate. I didn't attend. I didn't care. You live in a world of false confidence. I could have if I tried. That wouldn't have happened if I did this. But eventually this bravado rings hollow. Why then choose the path of apathy? It's much easier for me to accept a failure of my own making then to fail through the judgments of others. It's much easier to live in a cocoon of complacencies then in the shambles of plans that went awry.

We make our own illusions. Misguided comforts to patch easily wounded egos. It's easier to avoid that confront. Remain silent then speak and let your voice be heard.

But sometimes, you're lucky because you see a glimpse of what is outside and you realize that there is still very much that you want to do with yourself and your life before you are satisfied. And you realize that you are only in a façade of happiness. Sometimes all it takes is a single question from a single person that might know you well, but at the same time makes you stop and consider the lies that you have been feeding yourself. Your canned answers to questions asked. A pinch that awakened you from an imagined reverie.

I'm glad there are still people in this world like that.