Three awkward texts, one crush on a friend, and one ambiguous pseudo "date" with another friend later (this describes three different situations with three different girls, just to clarify), I realized that through it all, I was still single and very little had changed in my life, besides the date and unfortunately, my ever fluctuating weight.
So again, I, once opened myself up to the concept of online dating and all of its misadventures associated with it.
Now on a serious note, I didn't initially want to blog about it. I'm not trying to take this as lightly as before. A part of me realizes that I'm 31 now and probably should partake in certain things with a bit more gravity and less levity. I bought a paid account (which wasn't cheap) with the idea that I would approach this with some seriousness.
That lasted all of a week. Although, I've been on Match for two weeks now, I realized by the end of the first week that I would eventually have to blog about my experiences. And to specify, by experiences I mean being rejected continually by women and being "winked" at by ugly women.
This is going to be a fun six months.
For starters, I bought the six month package deal on Match.com. Slightly subsidized from the normal rate, and it comes with a money back guarantee if I don't find a relationship within the subscription time (either that or they give me six months more free? I dunno. I'm also questioning what they consider a relationship. I guess that would also lead to the deep seeded question of what I consider a relationship). Reading between the lines, it also specifies to qualify for said money back guarantee I have to 1) make a profile (witty and clever as the last one. done) 2) put a picture on your profile (picture of me being creepy. done) 3) and write at least five emails to five different match members a month (this being two weeks in, five awkward emails have already been sent. done)
So overall, painless. Easy. I'm set. Witty, yet clever profile filled with word play and overall charm? Killer photo? I'm set. Bring on the ladies that will be lining up at my door to join in the fun that is labeled 'Nate's life.'
And I'm not going to lie at first, I thought I was golden. Plenty of profiles with attractive women smiling, a few people viewing my profile within the first couple of days.
Its like going to the Old Country Buffet for the first time and seeing the vast spread of food in front of you and congratulating yourself for the good good choice that you made until half way through the meal you realized that every dish, no matter if it was meat or vegetable tastes suspiciously the same, and at the end of the meal when you are running to the nearest bathroom and holding on to dear life.
Although in the first week, I managed to get two winks from two (yes count them two) unattractive women. TWO! (Personally, at the time, I was sure if I should feel insulted that the women winked at me. My first reaction was shock, then dismay when I realized that both girls really thought they had a chance. I suddenly understand the plight of attractive women when I hit on them (I only kidd. My friend pointed out to me as many have, my self deprecation comes across as unattractive sometimes.))
But five emails in, and no responses later, its given me a new perspective on an old and daunting foe. Rejection. No wait. It hasn't. It still sucks. I have more to say about that, and the rejection in particular, but that will have to wait for another blog.
Well, month one is nearly over and I've filled my quota. I'm thinking about taking a break till my next month starts and then writing some more emails. I realize that I hate doing this shit in real life and online, I hate this shit even more.
I know, I know. Quit your bitching and keep on writing. You don't got to tell me twice.
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